I will not sink because I have no anchor.
by Denise Novaky on 03/21/14
People are always asking me how I am able to function each day. They quickly follow-up their question by affirming that, if their child had died, certainly they would never be able to get out of bed. Well, actually, I doubt that is true. When confronted with the same heartache, others have and others will stand up and continue their lives.
For a woman who always found some way of working hard enough to achieve that which I wanted, there was no way for me to bring Nick back to this world. I was reminded of labor pains, in a weird way. I birthed both children without any numbing drugs. During the hardest of the labor I realized that there is no way out of this except to go through it. I could not talk my way out or figure my way out. The only way out was to bear the pain. No options.
For some situations there are no options. Reality cannot be changed just because I want it to be different. Being unable to change reality does not mean I am not smart or capable or ....anything. It means nothing about me except that in some situations human beings are powerless to execute change. NO options. I am careful when I use the "no options" rule; I don't cop out of challenges. I have no problem meeting them head on. Sometimes, though, I can take my sword to the windmill but that windmill is still going to turn. Sometimes, I cannot effect change. The only option becomes how I will go on with life. I can celebrate life or I can roll up into an angry ball. Either way, I will be carrying around heartache. Maybe if I celebrate life, something good will happen for all who suffer.
A couple of years ago I texted a friend about a (comparatively minor) but heart wrenching problem. She compassionately texted back, "How are you?" For the first time I really thought about the question. I thought about it:, "How am I, actually?" I thought about the support I get from family and friends, I thought about the life lessons my parents taught me, I thought about the adversity I had overcome. I texted back the following words to her question, "How are you?"
"Stronger Than This."
